5 Pregnancy Symptoms I Didn't Know About

18 weeks!

Being pregnant is nothing like you see in the movies. Popular culture failed to adequately prepare me for this circus. I was prepared for nausea and swollen ankles, but not this symphony of oddness. Here are five awesome side-effects from this beautiful life-creation process that I was completely unprepared for:

1. Saliva. You get a LOT of it. It's called ptyalism or sialorrhea and doctors don't really know why it happens. Maybe because you're producing more, or you're swallowing less. I constantly feel the need to spit and whenever I eat anything, I get this GROSS taste in my mouth. I blame the saliva. It's like it takes the bowl of cereal you just ate and twists the flavors around into this disgusting harmony to which your tastebuds dance. It's no fun, and I mainline gum and mints because of it.

2. Hiccups. I get them at least once a day, sometimes twice. And they're not the cute little I-had-too-much-champagne hiccups. Oh no. They're powerhouses that leave me gasping and cause Scott to yell down from upstairs asking if I'm OK. I think they're the result of the fact that I won't let myself burp. Because if I burp I risk the I-just-threw-up-in-my-mouth-a-little thing. Therefore, I'm swallowing extra air. Hence, hiccups.

The swing. It taunts me.

3. Hair growth. Yes, IT IS EXACTLY AS GROSS AS IT SOUNDS. It's like Chewbacca and Sasquatch joined forces all over my legs. I shave in the morning and by the evening, a fine coating of fur has already sprouted. My legs and underarms get 5 o'clock shadow. And I live at the beach. It's obnoxious.

4. Dreams. Holy Moly. It's like I close my eyes and all of the T.V. networks mesh together to create one big mega show of weirdness. I think the dream where I was a ninja who beat up Rihanna is my favorite so far. Apparently this happens to us preggos because we spend less sleep time in the REM sleep cycle, and more time tossing and turning. Therefore our sleep isn't as deep and we remember our dreams.

5. Sense of Smell. I can smell anything now. Everything. Even when I don't want to. Scott calls it my "spidey sense." He can go to work, eat something for lunch, come home that evening, and I'll immediately be like, "What did you eat?" Scott made bacon-wrapped scallops the other day and I had to shutter myself in the bedroom because I thought I was going to pass out from the smell. It's intense.

I hope someone somewhere can learn from my experience. ;)

We're at 18+ weeks now, and the belly is starting to really ride out there. I could eat Jello and Gogurt all day long and I cry at the drop of a hat.

We scored this sweet swing/bouncer at a garage sale last weekend and it's now sitting in the living room. Staring at me. A constant reminder that there's a baby coming.

Baby on Board

Well people....schiz just got real. Ok technically it's been "real" for over four months now, but you hear me.

That's right, I'm pregnant. Knocked up. In a delicate condition. My eggo is preggo. We're expecting. I've got a bun in the oven. I'm in the family way. 

I could go all day.

I hope this cuts me just a weee bit of slack when it comes to the non-workouts. No slack? Oh hush.

Before anyone asks: yes it was planned. I will say that we didn't think it would happen quite as quickly as it did, but as Scott says: "One shot, one kill." 

I found out when I was staying with my parents before I flew over to Hawaii. I took a test, thinking it would be negative, and lo and behold...is that...a plus sign? It was! I immediately did what I'm sure many women do when they see a positive pregnancy test: I started hyperventilating.

I've had a doctor's appointment and heard the train-like heartbeat of our little one. I, of course, cried right there on the table. We're due mid-June and I have a sonogram at the end of this month to find out the gender and hopefully get a more solid due date.

Me after hefting four months of baby up
Diamond Head! Sweaty and frizzy
and awesome.

So here we are...pregs in Hawaii. The good part? It's warm so I don't have to worry about slipping on ice or wearing long sleeves. The bad part? I'm in a bathing suit at least once a week and I have to keep shaving my legs. No post-marriage winter fur for this mama. Plus the warm weather and my raging hormones make everything grow super fast. My legs get a 5 o'clock shadow.

I've been promising people that I would blog about pregnancy and pregnancy symptoms. Because, let's face it, it's NOT like you see in the movies. Or at least it isn't for me. ;)

Stay tuned!