The Nancy

When I was younger, my three brothers and I spent our summers entertaining ourselves. Summer mornings my mom would say, "inside or out?" and we would pick if we wanted to play inside or outside. (Running in and out of the house wasn't allowed!). Most of the time, we played outside, making tree forts or riding our bikes. But sometimes we played inside.

One of the inside-games was called "the floor is lava." It's what you would think: you can't touch the floor because it's a bubbling pool of molten volcano lava. We would all climb on a couch or other piece of furniture and pretend that if we touched the floor we would burn to death. It was a blast.

Little did I know this childhood game would prepare me for spin class with Nancy in my adult life. There's no couch, there's a stationary bike. And there's no carpet, there's the handle bars of the bike.

This morning's smoothie! Plain, nonfat
greek yogurt, blueberries, a banana,
some milk, vanilla, and Truvia. It broke
the blender but it was delicious!

And you're not allowed to touch them. The handles must be lava. Nancy doesn't like when you touch them, unless it's a finger for balance. I get that you're not supposed to lean on them so you can work your core, but a fingertip doesn't provide much balance.

I'm not sure if I've ever introduced you all to Nancy. We've talked about Alyssa and how I adore her. Her classes are always packed (I've actually wasn't able to get into one b/c it was at capacity), her music is loud and her "woo"s are cheery.

If Alyssa is the Disney princess, Nancy is the villain. Think Ursula, Maleficent, or the queen with the mirror.

She's small in stature, but packed with muscle. And she wields class like a drill sergeant. She will mock your form, harp on you for resting, and is generally a bugger.

I called early to reserve a seat in Nancy's class and was put on the list. When I stopped by the front desk to get my pass, which usually says a number around 12, I was handed pass #1.

"Am I the only one?"

"No, there are three people signed up. But there will probably be walk-ins."

"No there won't. It's Nancy."

Don't get me wrong, I've taken a spin class with Nancy before. I knew what I was getting into. I just didn't know I'd be one of three people getting into it.


I tried my best to do exactly what Nancy was asking. I didn't touch the handlebars, except for a finger. I kept my back straight, I tried to do the impossible "triple time" while standing. (I'm convinced "triple time" is the Sasquatch of spin. People know a person who knows a person who's done it.)

Overall it was a good class. I left sweating with no water left in my bottle. But I think maybe I'll just stick with Monday and Friday spin with Alyssa. I went to spin on Monday, I just forgot to blog about it. My bad!

Squats + Pregatron

What the weather? I think Mother Nature had a few too many margaritas last night and messed with the thermostat. It was cooold outside this morning at 5:15 a.m. Goosebump cold. Glad-I'm-not-wearing-a-tank-top cold.

Many of you know that Thursday is Body Pump (BP) day. This morning I decided to get to the gym early so I could run before class. I haven't done cardio this week. I know, I know, bad Stephanie.

Dinner last night. Zucchini-noodle spinach lasagna. Yum.

I had time for one mile -- which worked out b/c I didn't want to run much further than that. Ran the mile, then walked upstairs for class.

I know we've talked about the fact that the usual BP lady left sometime while we were in Jamaica. Without even telling me. I know! Rude. I digress. What we haven't talked about is the new Thursday morning lady.

She's no woo girl. She's pleasant enough, and does a good job of keeping up with class, but there's no "woo." That may be due to the fact that she's apparently super pregnant. She said she would probably stop working in October. And that last time she was teaching classes until two weeks before she gave birth but that it was OK because "the birth wasn't that hard."

Two things struck me. One, this chick is like...six months along. Two, she's a BAMF. Enough said.

So Pregatron (That's my new favorite word for pregnant ladies. Like Megatron but...with child.) led us through the new release. A new release happens every six weeks or so, where they change up the routines so people don't get bored. If you ask me, they get gradually harder.

Since Scott has been away, I've been turning down the
covers for Gunner early in the evening. Once he puts
himself to bed, I come in and tuck him in. We're what
you would call "co-dependent."

This new release includes 6:30 of weighted squats. You heard me right. It's five minutes, plus another minute, plus another 30 seconds. Do you know what it feels like to do squats with a bar on your shoulders for the better part of ten minutes? Because I do. And I'd rather I didn't. I was sweating on the floor and seriously considering the possibility that I might pass out when we finally stopped.

Pregasaurus didn't miss a beat. Rawr.

The rest of class didn't get any better. My triceps are still numb from all of the dips we did. Yowsa.

After class, my arms and legs were useless limbs. So much so that getting my soaked sports bra up over my head was a cause for concern this morning. The first few attempts were like waves gently lapping against a shore. Lots of repetition, but not a lot happening. My arms weren't really doing anything.

I started to panic a little and was mentally going through my options to get out of said sports bra. I'd settled on "I'll just shower with it on" when I was finally able to summon superhuman strength to get it off. I know sports bras are tight for a reason, but maybe I'll just start wearing tanks to BP. There's not really much jumping around, so I could sacrifice support during class for ease-of-removal after class.

And now that you know this, you can't unknow it. Happy Thursday.

Farming + "Woo" Girls

As many of you know, I grew up in a place called "Nokesville." The name pretty much says it all. Think cow fields, corn stalks and farm land. We drove on unlined back roads to a high school that was surrounded by livestock. Get the picture?

Because of this, I know more about farming than the average 20-something.

One of the things I know about is crop rotation. The basic premise is this: farmers will plant a certain crop in a field one year, then they will rotate another crop into that field the next year. The idea here is that different crops take different nutrients from the soil, so rotating what is planted extends the fertility time for that area.

Every few years, farmers will let their fields return to nature so they can "restock" the nutrition of the soil. You essentially don't plant anything or do any work on the field, you just let it be. It's called letting your field "fallow."

And this is exactly what I've done with my body since the wedding. I've let it fallow.  

Don't be fooled. Those bigger plates are only
5 pounds each. They just look impressive.

As with any field that's been returned to nature, it takes some hard work to get it back into shape. I got started this week.

Three spin classes and a Body Pump (BP) class later, I'm having trouble walking, my back is killing me, and I have never been more hydrated. I also have more energy and my clothes are starting to get to a place where we could possibly say they're starting to "fit" again.

Yesterday was my first day back to BP since I went into the gym in early June and found my usual early class cancelled. Knowing my muscles were mush, I used super light weights and took it a little easy. But my legs are still on fire.

This morning I took my third spin class this week, and Alyssa -- my peppy instructor -- had us do weights on the bike. Seeing as to how I'm already so sore, I had no problem picking up 3-pound hand weights and carrying them to my bike like a boss.

The great thing about Alyssa is that class is fun. Like really fun. Like party-on-your-bike fun. She has great music and tells us little anecdotes about her life. It's a blast, and I laugh almost every class. I call her a "woo" girl, because that's what Alyssa says about 20 times a class -- and because I'm a huge fan of How I Met Your Mother. Today, I wrote down a few quotes after class because I wanted to start remembering them to share with you all:

Alyssa: You know, "woo" is pretty much the right response in any situation.

 And another one...

Spinner at a random point in the class: "WOO!"
Alyssa: That's what I was thinking!

Oblivion

Sometimes I amaze myself with my ability to be oblivious to things around me. I don't notice things like road signs (Lane Ending is a big one) or walk signals (I'll stand there for at least two circuits of the walk/stop cycle) and I will leave the house with my fly down on any given day. Oblivion is my specialty. My dad calls it "la la" land. Whatever you call it, it's classic Stephanie.

This week's "oh" moment was when I started going back to the gym. Monday morning I grumbled my way out of the apartment and into the gym, only to be stopped by the manager saying I needed a "Cycle Pass" for that morning's spin class, and oh did I call to make a reservation?

Huh?

So I followed him to the front desk, signed my name, and was given a plastic-covered pass. As I rolled my eyes at this new Fitness First policy, I took a picture of the pass to share on the blog. I even started mentally writing what I would say about this silly new policy at my gym.

See that logo there? Yep.

Spin class was great. Alyssa was the instructor and she's your classic "woo" girl. Bright, peppy, and full of sunshine at 6 a.m. Which she manages to pull off in an adorable, non-annoying way. You're just so happy that she's so happy.

Then Wednesday morning rolled around. I woke up at 5:30, opened my Fitness First app, clicked the "Reserve a Bike" button and reserved my seat like a good girl. I came into the gym and the manager handed me my pass. I went to class, sweat everything, and went back to the front desk where I had this conversation:

Me: "Did I do my reservation correctly?"
Manager: "No, I just knew you were here for spin."
Me: "Oh, I reserved it through the gym app. Does that not work?"
Manager: "The Gold's Gym app?"
Me: "...what? This is Fitness First."
Manager: "Not anymore."
Me: "Did the sign outside change?"
Manager: "No, but all these did."

I looked around. The signs all said "Gold's Gym" -- and not small desk-top signs, HUGE person-sized signs. In bright yellow. Everywhere. That I had been walking by all week. Then the manager pointed to the pass in my hand, which I had taken a photo of on Monday, and even it said Gold's Gym on it.

For a full 45 seconds I was convinced that I had somehow gone to the wrong gym. Nevermind the fact that my gym is across the street from our apartment and I had walked there so the likelihood that I had somehow wandered into another gym was slim. It was like the Twilight Zone. How did the gyms get switched while I was working out??

After almost a full minute of standing in shock, the manager took pity on me and explained that Gold's Gym had taken over Fitness First.

So my gym is now a Gold's Gym. And at Gold's you have to reserve classes within an hour of the class. And the Fitness First app doesn't work b/c that gym isn't there anymore. And I need to pay more attention in life.

No write.

I so totally and completely don't feel like writing today. I went to spin this morning, and then walked for 45 minutes over lunch. I'm pretty sure all of the blood has been drained from my brain. Stephanie no want to write.

Even though I have tons of anecdotes to share from this morning.

Another time, perhaps.

Big News!

No, I'm not pregnant. Although that's the first thing people think when I say, "I have big news!" I guess that's one of the hidden gems of being married.

As many of you know, Scott and I have been anxiously waiting to hear where we will be stationed when Scott returns from school in September. I now have an answer.

The envelope, please.

Gunner already has his bags packed and his
Hawaiian shirt on!

And the award goes to...HAWAII! Yep, you read that correctly. We're getting stationed in paradise. On O'ahu to be exact. It's half exciting, half terrifying. I'm ready for the adventure, but sad to leave my family and friends behind. Also, my job. I love my job and I have this nagging fear that I'll be working at the island Target or something. Not that it's not a great job. I just love my social media/Web/Design/Communications mash I've got going on right now.

So, Scott got all signed out of Ft. Myer and left for South Carolina yesterday. Which, by the way, is unexpectedly crippling. I didn't think it was a big deal, but I was laying on my couch wallowing for my self-allotted 12-hour pity party yesterday. Two months is a lot, that's all I'm saying.

And now, since this is a fitness blog, let's chat about my workouts.

.....

Hear that? That's the sound of no workouts. What can I say? I've been spending every free moment with the hubs.

But now that he's gone, I've got to start getting Hawaii-ready. Because, you know, I'll be in a bathing suit 365 days a year for the next few years. Bazinga!